we're blogging at a bar
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
