Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
