Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize