I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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