At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We need to rekindle our bromance
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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