i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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