I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
reminds me of losing my job
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.