Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize