I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
