their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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