Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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