If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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