dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
