Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
