We named our party play list daddy issues
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
