im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
