there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
