Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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