i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can I color on your dick again?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
50% drunk capacity currently
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
