tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
