I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
