he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
