just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
