I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
