dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize