I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
