They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
