I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize