I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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