I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
