I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
