i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
