i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
