I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Randomize
