I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
