Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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