Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ladies don't puke and tell
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
