I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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