i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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