Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
