all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
