she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...