I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.