i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
