We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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