By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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