last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
no. you can't hotbox the world.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
