I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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