Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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