I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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