I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize