Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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