we're blogging at a bar
nut hugger
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
