I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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