i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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