It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
