his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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