Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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