i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
