Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
