im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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