Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
