they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
